EXPECTATION DISAPPOINTMENT AND STRESS
by Philip Holder PhD.
Medical Coordinator – BodySmart Wellness
Grandmaster – North American Wing Chun Association
From copyrighted material. Copyright Philip Holder 2017
Most people desire, Peace Of Mind, Health, Love and Freedom. Absent effective coping skills for dealing with stress, our peace of mind, as well as our physical health, can be negatively impacted. We know that stress can depress our immune system. That being true, it stands to reason that effective coping skills for dealing with stress can enhance our immune systems. There will always be stressors in our lives. It is impossible to eliminate them. But you don’t have to internalize them.
A significant percentage of stress related problems are the result of a person’s expectations of others. I suggest to you that all disappointment comes from expectation. Often our expectations are unrealistic (even when on the surface they may seem not seem to be). When someone has an expectation and that expectation is not met, disappointment, anger and stress are often the result. I have a personal philosophy… By not expecting anything from anyone, everything I receive is a gift.
A good place to start reducing stress in your own life is to let go of expectations regarding others, whenever you can. We have no control over others and therefore we are setting ourselves up for disappointment when we expect others to live up to our image of what and who that other person should be and how they should act. Unfortunately, people too often do expect others to behave and to think as they do. Because each person perceives the world differently, that expectation is unrealistic.
If someone says, “When my mother does X, Y, or Z, it makes me angry and stresses me out,” the way they are framing the situation is itself flawed. It is the person’s expectation of how his or her mother should act that is the true source of the stress. The answer to relieving the stress is not in changing the mother’s world view. He or she has no power over the mother. The answer would be to let go of the expectation he or she has of the mother.
To some extent, most people want the world to fit their own individual world view and standards. It is human nature to think that other drivers go too fast or too slow, because after all, we always go at exactly the “Right” speed. It is human nature to think that others should share our brilliant views on child rearing, politics, and society. For better or worse others often do not share our views and to expect them to do so is a recipe for stress and disappointment. The more you can rid yourself of expectation regarding others, the less you will find yourself angry, disappointed and stressed out. Unburdening yourself of your expectations can lead to greater health and happiness.
More Great Articles Click Here