IN THE BEGINNING
It’s a corny old saying, but “Today Truly Is The First Day Of Your Life”! What one does from this moment forward will write the next chapter of a person’s life story. I tell my students (Both Kung-Fu and Hypnotherapy) that… “The past is dead. The future is unborn. This moment of opportunity is all you truly have”. A lifetime is nothing more than a chain of moments, each moment being a link in that chain. If (in theory) you were to make every moment of your life positive, loving and productive, your life would have no other option except to be a life of, positive energy, love and productivity. It would be impossible to have anything other if the chain were made entirely of positive links.
History is only good for one thing which is to learn from it, so as not to keep making the same mistakes (more accurately, poor decisions) over and over again. The old saying, “Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it” is absolutely true. This is why revisionist history is so dangerous. How can we move forward, improving on the past, if the lessons we acknowledge as real are actually based on a false premise. The factor that obstructs growth is our propensity to rationalize. People all too frequently take the position that X, Y or Z historical life lessons apply to everyone else on the planet, but somehow it does not apply to them personally. When it comes to them… “That’s different” begins the rationalization. Whenever someone says, “But that’s different” The word “But” is where the lie begins. The fact is, the person we lie most often to is ourselves.
None of us has any significant control over anyone else. We do, however, have complete control over ourselves if we choose to accept that responsibility. Only through ownership of our challenges can we resolve and improve on, who we are now and how we will continue to grow to meet our full potential. This requires stepping outside of our own pre-constructed paradigm of reality and our comfort zone. With OWNERSHIP of who you are, for better or for worse, comes great power, so never fear owning all parts of who you are. That is the key to positive growth.
Learn from history but never cling to the past. It is useless to live in the past. The past is dead and gone. Use the past for lessons about what you should discontinue doing and what you should continue to do. A poor decision in the past is often a lesson you needed to experience growth. Maybe it will even take twice to sink in. After that, to repeat that behavior and/or decision over again shows that no lesson was yet learned and now, time is being wasted. Never expect a different outcome when you continue to repeat the same behavior. Time is the only un-renewable resource. You can waste things and get more things. You can waste money and get more money. When you waste time, it is gone forever.
Wherever you are in your life now, is a product of your past decisions. That is why it is so important to truly and honestly know yourself and to own it all! If you do not honestly know yourself, any decisions you make in life will be based on a false premise. If your position is that you “Made A Mistake”, you are in many ways evocating responsibility. If you accept that you chose to make a poor decision, you are accepting responsibility and therefore gaining greater personal power.
YOU AS THE SCREEN WRITER OF YOUR LIFE STORY
By adolescence, you have already written many chapters of your life. By adulthood you have written many more. Since today is the first day of the rest of your life, you can start writing the next chapter right now. You can write it in whatever you choose.
The following is something that I sometime have patients at our BodySmart Wellness office do. I’ll say to them:
Imagine this: You are the world’s greatest screen writer. You have written a screen play about the next chapter of your life. You are not only the WRITER; you are the DIRECTOR, PRODUCER and most importantly you are the STAR! You are about to view, for the very first time, the screening of your new movie. How have you decided to write the next chapter? What will the next chapter of your life look like? It’s entirely up to you! Once you’ve made the choice, you can begin to live your life in the way you have chosen to write it.
Once in hypnosis, I have them experience the movie that they have written, paying special attention to connecting with the positive feelings developed during the process.
[If you would like more information about this technique contact Dr. Holder through our site contact form at www.BodySmartWellness.com]
PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT
An actor rehearses for his or her parts and continuously gets better at the part. If you practice baseball daily you will become a better baseball player. If you practice carpentry daily, you will become a better carpenter. Likewise, you will become better at being the person you strive to be when you put those goals into practice. You have the power and you get to decide what kind of man or woman you want to be.
“Dr. Holder’s Formula”
1. Often the behavioral change must precede the feeling for durable change to take place. Hypnosis can facilitate behavioral change through suggestion regarding perceptual change. If you change the perception related to something, the behavior connected to that perception will change as well. In a vast number of therapies, without initially incorporating behavioral change, any changes will not likely last over the long-term.
2. When we practice positive behaviors, they become who we are (The person we practice to be, is the person we will ultimately become).
3. You (or the client or patient) must be invested in the process. You must accept both the power and the responsibility for the changes you seek to make.
YOU HAVE COMPLETE POWER
If your life is not where you want it to be and you attribute the blame to outside influences by thinking, “It’s my spouses fault”, or “it’s my bosses fault”, or “society dealt me a bad hand” or any other lame, buck-passing excuse, then you have given away your power. You can’t fix what isn’t yours. If you accept that wherever you are in life presently, is a product of YOUR past decisions, then you have complete power to change it because you own it. It is my belief that what one thinks and what one feels is not nearly as significant and how they behave in regard to those thoughts and/or feelings. Our actions are the ultimate expression of our thoughts and feelings. It’s what we DO in response to those thoughts and feelings that shows one’s depth of integrity and character.