(We Manifest In Our Lives What We Feel We Deserve)

By Philip Holder PhD.
Copyright Philip Holder 2013

(Excerpts from Dr. Holders Article, Limiting Beliefs)


Everything we do, we do because of a perceived benefit. Are you one of those people who feel you do things for others solely out of the goodness of your heart? Are you sure about that? If that’s what you think, you may need to re-think it. Mother Theresa did wonderful acts of kindness and compassion all around the world. I commend her for that and am in no way trying to diminish her wonderful heart, her character, or the things she did for humanity. In all reality though, there is an underlying reason that she felt compelled to do those things. It made her feel closer to God. As wonderful a person as she was, there was something in it for her, in doing those acts of kindness. Look closely at your motives in doing nice things for others. You will likely see the truth in what I’m saying. There is a pay off. You are, at some level, getting something out of it. There’s nothing wrong with that.

My point is this… For good or for bad everything we do is done for a perceived benefit. Even if that benefit is to punish or limit ourselves because subconsciously we feel that we deserve to pay penance or limit our success due to guilt or feelings of unworthiness. It comes down to sabotaging one’s own success to balance the scales.


We really do manifest in our lives what we feel we deserve. That’s why a solid and positive sense of self is so important. That essentially means that you accept, appreciate, value and genuinely like and love the person you are. You value yourself. That doesn’t imply egotism or arrogance. It simply means that you are very comfortable in your own skin. I always tell our patients and students that all love, all respect and all acceptance, begins with self love, self respect and accepting one’s self. When your self-esteem is great, you feel worthy of abundance and therefore manifest great things in your life. That positive energy draws other positive people and positive events to you as well.


If you say it then it must be true, right? Words are so powerful. Especially the words we say to ourselves. What you tell yourself… your internal dialogue, will become your belief system and therefore your destiny. For greatness or mediocrity we create our own reality through our beliefs. If you get up in the morning and say to yourself… Wow, it’s great to be alive! You will likely have a great experience that day. If you get up in the morning and say to yourself… I know this day is going to suck, it probably will. Either way, at the end of the day, you get so say, “see, I was right”. And we all like to be right, don’t we? Thomas Edison said something to this affect, “Think you can or think you can’t, either way you’ll be right. The words you say to yourself will become your experience. If you said it, it must be true.

Do you often feel like the light at the end of the tunnel is a train heading straight for you? If so that will probably be the outcome that you manifest. Here are some common statements that create limiting beliefs and therefore a negative outcome.

“It probably won’t work”
“Don’t count on it”
“I’m not good enough”
“I wish I was smarter”
“It won’t last”
“Someone probably already thought of it”
“Anything that can go wrong probably will”
“But what if? (followed by describing a worse case scenario)

And my biggest pet peeve… “THE PROBLEM IS”.
How about this instead! “THE SOLUTION IS”.


What we fear we focus on and therefore give it great power. If a parent fears their child is growing up too fast and the parent is not ready for that and holds on too tight, the child will rebel. If a person is too clingy in a relationship because they fear their partner might cheat they will likely drive their partner away. Life choices should never be made from a place of fear. Decisions made in fear almost always turn out to be the wrong ones. Your limiting thoughts and beliefs will manifest the negativity that you have given power too.


I see myself as a De-Hypnotist as much as I see myself as a hypnotherapist. In order to help someone shift their perception and belief system it is often necessary, or at the very least helpful, to delete the programming that has kept them anchored in a negative pattern. This can only happen when there is bypass of critical thought (hypnosis) so that new perceptions can be introduced at the most fundamental level, the subconscious mind.


There are no bad experiences. There are pleasant and unpleasant experiences, but no bad experiences (unless we learn nothing through our unpleasant experiences). Try practicing being more positive, even if you think you already are doing so. We are who we practice to be. Be aware of your internal dialogue. Keep it positive. Be your own motivational speaker. After all… If you say it, it must be true. No matter what the experience, look for why the universe gave that experience to you. It’s easy to turn lemons into lemonade when you see every event as a positive and useful experience. Remember, you will manifest in your life what you think and believe so lose the limiting thoughts and the negative self talk and the sky’s the limit.

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