By Philip Holder PhD
Copyright Philip Holder 2015

flowerWe Often Get It Backwards. We go to work, to social events etc. and are on our best and kindest behavior to our friends, coworkers and even strangers. Then we go home and take our frustrations out on our spouse, partner, parents, kids, etc. It seems like the ones that we profess to love most and who we should appreciate the most, often get the poopy end of the stick. This is why many relationships don’t make it!

My maternal grandmother used her finest china every day at family meals. Her philosophy was: Why should I save my best things for guests and for special occasions. I want my family to enjoy our best things every day… There’s a lot of wisdom in that philosophy.

We often take for granted the one’s we say we love the most. People ASSUME that those they love already know that they are loved and that should be enough. You may have even said to a loved one, or heard from a loved one, something like this… “You should already know I love you. Why do I have to say it?”

A relationship is like tending a garden. If you water your garden, provide nourishment, get rid of the weeds as soon as they arise and prevent pests and other harmful critters from entering your garden, your garden will flourish and provide great pleasure for you. If you neglect your garden, flowers will wither, plants will die, weeds will grow and outside influences will be a destructive force in your garden.

It’s really simple. We should always give the best of ourselves to those we love the most. Be kind and loving. Show those you love that you love them with both your actions and your words. Listen with an open mind and an open heart. Be respectful and thoughtful. Be willing to be wrong. These things show your loved one that he or she is valuable to you. Those who you love deserve to be treated better than anyone else. Not less than or even equal to, but better than anyone else. Follow this simple philosophy and your garden will be a thing of beauty and great pleasure.

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