Changing Your Life By Changing Your Attitude

By Dr. Philip Holder
Grandmaster North American Wing Chun Association
Copyright Philip Holder 2016


This article is primarily for those people who have fairly good lives but who frequently expend more energy focusing on what they wish was different in their life, instead of letting an attitude of gratitude for what they already have, prevail. Hopefully it will also speak to all other readers as a reminder of the importance of Thankfulness in our lives and how that thankful attitude affects the law of attraction.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Too often I hear people say things like, “I wish I had a better relationship with my kids”. “I wish I had a better relationship with my spouse”. “I wish I had chosen a different career”. “I wish I worked somewhere else”. “I wish I had, X, Y and Z”. “I wish things were different” (Would-have, Could-have, Should-have).

Personally, I believe that everything is always as it should be, every moment of every day. The question becomes…  do we embrace what is, and learn the lesson contained within the experience that we are being gifted with, or do we fight against the flow of The Universe (Or as I prefer,  The Source) in an attempt to impose our own will on the experience that we have been provided. If we attempt to impose our own will, we are allowing ego to interfere with our natural growth path. This usually creates conflict, stress and dissention in our life experience. At any given moment we are experiencing exactly what The Source knows we need. It is important to trust in the process in order to learn the lesson handed to us. If we are willing and open to accepting that lesson, then we can grow. In doing so we also create a climate that helps facilitate that within others, so that they have a greater opportunity learn and grow. It is fundamental to The Law Of Attraction that we have an attitude of gratitude and appreciation for what we have as well as an appreciation for who we are. Wishing things were different, or wishing that we had something that we do not yet have, acknowledges a lack of, so, that’s what will be generated in your life through The Law Of Attraction… A Lack Of!

We receive what we ourselves create through our intent and through our choices and in how we view our life and our relationships. What we expect to happen is what we usually manifest and what we fear the most, we usually create. Ego is the cloud that blinds us to seeing that the gifts that we desire, are in fact, very often already ours.


I frequently ask patients and students, “Would you rather be happy or right?” Often you cannot have both. Trying to make the world (especially others) conform to your view of life is a recipe for conflict. Know that in every moment, everything is already as it should be. Trust in The Source and in the process. 

The desire to win (e.g.:  sports or Chess etc.), can be a positive thing, but only when it comes from a mindset of accepting an opportunity for growth by challenging ourselves and by stepping outside of our comfort zone. We have the opportunity to raise the bar and challenge our own perceived limits. The important asset for growth is an understanding that growth comes from challenging ourselves to be our very best. Not from a challenge intended to defeat someone else. The need to win with those we love, and who love us, almost always comes from unconscious feelings of inadequacy. Let go of the obsession to win as well as the fear that fuels the need to control and to make the world conform to your vision. The need to control is almost always an expression of fear. Don’t restrict yourself to the image or paradigm of life that you have created within your own conscious thinking and through your subconscious fears. That will blind you to all other wonderful possibilities available to you. Listen without the filter of your own bias and preconceived ideas. Be open to the idea that you may be misinterpreting what you perceive to be a reality. Only then can you learn and grow wiser. The fact is, we create our own sense of reality and your reality is only your reality. It is not a universal reality. Universal reality does not exist.

As you read this article, if you had the thought, “I wish my spouse, my child, my friend, my patient, my student, etc. would read this. They could really use this or It really applies to him/her… Think again, and ask yourself… Do I truly have an attitude of gratitude for the things and people in my life, or do I frequently wish that things were somehow different. If you answer to the Attitude Of Gratitude question is No, then you are likely living primarily in the past and/or the future and are therefore, missing out on the joy of each moment, in the NOW. Each moment wasted can never be recovered or replaced. Time is the one un-renewable resource in this life experience.


Life is to be enjoyed. Like the old saying goes. “Don’t sweat the small stuff… and it’s all small stuff”. If you find that you stress over everyday things, or frequently find yourself wishing things were different, you are missing the joy of NOW… and Now Only Comes Once. Joy in life comes from simplicity, so simply enjoy what you have, moment by moment. Have an attitude of gratitude and appreciation. The grass is rarely greener on the other side of the hill.

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