Table Of Contents
1. Article: A Simple Path To A Better Relationship
2. Philosophy of the day
3. Looking For Practitioners To Join Us At BodySmart Wellness – Need A Great Office?
4. Upcoming Certification Courses
5. Room In Yardley PA Class For 4 Additional Kung Fu Students
This Edition’s Article
Note: We normally have a different article in the NAWCA Newsletter than we do in the BodySmart Wellness / Masters-Center newsletter. Grandmaster believes that this article can benefit everyone and asked that this article go in both newsletters. Although, on the surface it appears that the article is aimed mostly at adults, the topics contained in the article are one’s that young people will at some point encounter.
A Simple Path To A Better Relationship
Philip Holder PhD.
copyright 2014 – 2016
I frequently tell people there are no bad experiences. There are unpleasant experiences, but as long as we learn and grow through our experiences, they are all good experiences! I like to think that I follow my own philosophy, at least most of the time. Like most people I’ve made my share of relationship blunders (maybe even more than my share, who knows?), but I’ve learned much from my experiences and have keyed in on some primary principles that I think are of great value in enhancing the quality of a relationship. Do I always follow them myself…? Well, I try my best to. This article is designed primarily with couples in mind, but the majority of the principles will work well for all types of relationships. These principles have helped students and patients at our office and certainly helped me personally.
First and Foremost
For any of the suggestions below to work, you must truly value, love and respect your significant other enough to put aside your ego and place your partner and your relationship first. For true success and happiness you need to be absolutely first to each other… First over career, kids, extended family and above friends. You and your partner need to be best friends and lovers who accept each other warts and all.
List of important things to re-think and a time for new approaches:
Do You Want To Be Right Or Happy?
Decide… Would you rather be happy or right? Many times you can’t have both. If “right” is your answer then there’s probably no point in you reading any further. Let go of the compulsion to prove you are right. If you have to prove your point or prove you are right, then by virtue of doing that, you are attempting to prove your partner wrong. If you are trying to prove that you are smarter, then by virtue of that, you are attempting to prove your partner is dumber. Why would you ever want to cast the person you love in that light?
Choose Your Battles Wisely
Not every hill is worth climbing yet we often feel compelled to make mountains out of mole hills just to prove that we are right. “Don’t sweat the small stuff”.
Be Light And Happy… It Might Be Contagious
When you walk into a room full of grumpy people you can feel the negative energy. Other people’s negativity can affect us deeply and cause our mood to shift. Likewise, a happy crowd can lift your spirits. Be a facilitator of happiness, even when you don’t feel like it. After all, “We become who we practice to be”.
Take Time For Playfulness, Romance And Making Love.
Learn to compartmentalize. Leave your work, worries and responsibility aside and enjoy each other. Be totally in the moment. I’m sure most couples did just that when their relationship was young. You should never stop doing that. If you have kids, make sure you have “Date Night” (no kids allowed) every week. Someday the kids are going to grow up and leave and you and your partner will be sitting there, starring at each other, wondering who is the stranger across from you. For those who have pets and young children, I advocate no pets or kids in the marital bed. Just like they say, never put your office in your bedroom (you never totally leave work when you do that), that’s the same in principle as making the marital bed solely your place for lovemaking, bonding, romance, and intimacy.
Know That The Grass Is Greenest Where You Are Now
When a relationship is having problems, some people look outside of the relationship for what they feel is missing in the relationship. This may not even be a physical affair. It may be an emotional affair. Either way, it causes the person to have less incentive to fix the problem when his or her needs are being met outside of the relationship. Even wishing that you were with someone else (physically OR emotionally), can sap positive emotional energy that could be used to improve the relationship.
Unilaterally Make Changes That Nurture The Relationship Without Making Deals Or Expectation Of Partner
Don’t negotiate terms under which you will make changes to the behaviors that are your part in a problem (I’ll do this if you change that). Own your part and fix it unilaterally. Somebody has to be the hero.
Listen Before You Reply
Much too often, during disagreements, people begin to formulate what they are going to say back in rebuttal before their partner is even finished speaking. Listen with an open mind until your partner is finished. If you do not, likely you won’t have the full picture from his or her perspective and as well, the problem may escalate because you partner will likely feel unheard and feel that his or her opinion has no value in your eyes.
Debate the issue without personalizing it. (e.g.: I feel I’m not important to you when “X” happens. Vs. You always make me feel crappy). Make the discussion about the situation. Don’t place the blame on your partner. The Japanese have a saying. “Fix the problem, not the blame”.
Don’t Defend. Your Partner Is Not The Enemy
When a person becomes defensive, the fight is on. It’s human nature. Take the position that the other person is entitled to have a different opinion. Believe that you are a team looking to find a solution, not adversaries.
Be Okay With Apologizing For Your Part In A Disagreement
Acknowledging your part in a disagreement can start the process of solving the problem and also lets your partner know that you do not hold them completely at fault. After all… It takes 2 to tango.
Refrain From Doing Things That Are Destructive Or That You Wouldn’t Want Done To You.
If the little voice in your head says, “Should I be doing or saying this”, LISTEN for a moment. If the shoe was on the other foot, how would you feel? Never rationalize how “That’s Different” when you do it. The person we lie to most is ourselves and “That’s Different” is a whopper.
“You Don’t Have To Believe Everything You Think”
No matter how right you think you are, always entertain the possibility that you could be wrong. If both parties hold tight to the position that there’s absolutely no way he or she could be wrong, there will be no resolution.
Verbalize Your Complements And Good Thoughts To Your Partner
If you look for the flaws in someone you will find them. If you look for the good in someone, likewise you will find it. Instead of looking to catch others doing something you don’t like, look to catch them doing something good, then recognize that good. If you think your significant other is smart… Tell Them! If you think your partner is sexy… Tell Them! If you think your partner is talented… Tell Them! If you think your partner is funny… Tell Them! If you think your partner already knows you love them… Tell Them Anyway! Even if they truly know, it’s always great to hear. Make it a regular daily thing (multiple times each day).
Never Take For Granted The Things Your Partner Contributes To The Relationship
Have “An Attitude Of Gratitude”.
Tell your partner that you appreciate the things he or she does. The more specific you are, the better. By nature, people find it easy to complain about what they don’t like, but difficult to acknowledge the good others do. Think about it… I bet most of you reading this have complained to the manager of a restaurant when the food or service was bad. Are you as diligent at seeking out the manager when the food or service is great? Let your partner know that you appreciate him or her. Verbalize it. Don’t just think it, unless your partner is a mind reader.
Especially in small things that will have no dramatic affect on the overall outcome of your life. Frequently do those things your partner’s way, without attempting to negotiate something else (even if you think you have a better idea). As the old saying goes, “There’s more than one way to skin a cat”.
Be Forward Thinking
Let go of the past (especially during disagreements). Fight the urge to bring something up from the past to clobber your partner over the head with, in an attempt to win. That behavior doesn’t elevate you. It just lowers both you and your partner. It doesn’t solve the current problem. It just re-introduces an old problem. Now instead of one problem, you’re addressing two.
Learn How To Identify Your Own Passive Aggressive Behaviors
Example of Passive-Aggressive Behavior: You know your partner likes to have coffee before eating breakfast so you say… screw that I’m making breakfast first. “Breakfast is on the table dear… Oh, the coffee… So sorry I forgot.
Punishing your partner isn’t going to improve things. Take the high ground.
Always Uplift And Elevate Your Partner
When the two of you are alone, when you’re both with others, and when you’re without your partner but with others, elevate the person you have chosen to share your life with. You picked him or her. As well, don’t air your dirty laundry to others (e.g.: You tell your mother how crappy your partner is. The two of you patch things up with each other but mom’s not getting over it so quickly.
Every Day Ask Yourself How Can I Make My Partner’s Life Better Today?
If that’s your mission each day, you can take pride in yourself for the love you share and for having the integrity to do the right thing. As his or her life becomes better because of you, they will appreciate you even more for your efforts.
Unilaterally Do For Your Partner What You Wish He Or She Would Do For You (Being Thankful, Supportive, Appreciative Etc.), Even If Your Partner Is Not Choosing To Do The Same In Return
Remember, your behavior speaks volumes about your character. What you do shows what kind of person YOU are. No one can make you mad, make you say hurtful things, or cause you to behave in any fashion. The choice is entirely yours. How you handle situations is all about you so… As you write your life story (which you are doing each and every day), ask yourself if the finished product is something you will be proud of.
I Have No Idea Who The Author Of The Following Story Is, But It’s Something Worth Thinking About!
Nails In The Fence
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, the wound is still there. ” A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.
The Beginning 🙂
Philosophy of the day
There are two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
Looking For Practitioners To Join Us At BodySmart Wellness – Need A Great Office?
Great Offices / Great Location / Great People
Why Not Join Us!
Office Space Available
We Are Offering A Number Of Options And Rent Negotiable
Are you a motivated professional looking for the right place to grow your practice? If so, then we want you! We are a family owned Medical Wellness Center made up of compassionate professionals with a focus on enhancing human development and potential. We have three rooms available for immediate occupancy in our Yardley office. We are seeking passionate practitioners with a desire to enhance and promote human development and wellness. Whether you’re just starting out or have a robust practice but need space, we can accommodate your needs.
Here are just some of the practitioners that we would like to add within our practice: Massage Therapists, Nutritionists, Dietitians, Tutors, Coaches, Yoga/Fitness Instructors, Reiki Practitioners, Acupuncturists, Estheticians, Music and Art Therapists and any similar professional wanting to make a significant positive difference in the lives of others.
Starting your own practice is timely and expensive.
Cut the costs and get started by joining with us!
See our Office at: www.Masters-Center.com
Upcoming Certification Courses
2016 Scheduled Classes
Phase 1 – Hypnotherapy / Hypno-Counselor Certification
Day 1: Saturday, 2/20/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 2: Saturday, 3/5/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 3: Saturday, 3/19/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 4: Saturday, 4/9/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 5: Saturday, 4/23/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 6: Saturday, 5/7/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 7: Saturday, 5/21/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Followed by 3 Day Practicum, Dates TBA
Advanced Master Level Hypnotherapy / Hypno-Counselor Certification
Day 1: Saturday, 2/13/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 2: Saturday, 2/27/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 3: Saturday, 3/12/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 4: Saturday, 4/2/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 5: Saturday, 4/16/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 6: Saturday, 4/30/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Day 7: Saturday, 5/14/16, 10:00 AM – 1:00 PM
Instructor Level Hypnotherapy / Hypno-Counselor Certification
Day 1: TBA
Day 2: TBA
Day 3: TBA
Day 4: TBA
Day 5: TBA
Day 6: TBA
Day 7: TBA
Day 8: TBA
Room In Yardley PA Class For 4 Additional Kung Fu Students
Wing Chun Classes In Yardley/Langhorne, PA.
In The Shaolin Temple
Five Masters Created The Art Of
Wing Chun Kung Fu
“Now you too can benefit
from this fascinating art”
Classes for Adults only (18 and older)
Practical Self Defense
Health and Fitness
This is not a commercial program.
Only a limited number of students are accepted each year.
Unlock your hidden talents and abilities under the direction of one of the world’s most highly recognized and respected Kung Fu Grandmasters… Dr. Philip Holder
Grandmaster of The North American Wing Chun Association’s Ying Gi Ga Wing Chun System, Dr. Holder has appeared numerous times in every major martial arts magazine, on radio, in wellness and mental health publications, and on television. He is world renowned for both defensive tactics and as a meditation master. He is a published author and stars in over 50 martial arts video productions. As well Dr. Holder is an award winning teacher, educator, and mental health therapist. He is an adjunct professor for colleges and teaches personal development and achievement courses nationwide. His teaching can benefit you in both your personal life and in your career. Come see for yourself the benefits of these classes.
Classes are being held in Yardley/Langhorne, PA
For enrollment information
Call Masters Center / BodySmart Wellness LLC: 215-493-1204
Thank You For Your Interest
Have a Great Day
From All Of Us At
BodySmart Wellness LLC
General Information and Policies for all BodySmart Wellness workshops, seminars, classes etc. at BodySmart Wellness Location
At BodySmart Wellness Physical Location(s): Please arrive no less than 15 – 20 minutes before the start of any BodySmart Wellness class, workshop or seminar so that you can be checked in by starting time. Walking in after the start of a workshop is distracting to both the participants and the instructor or presenter. With classes, workshops or seminars that require calm and quiet (e.g.: Meditation, Higher self, etc.) the door will be closed and locked once class commences and no further entry will be permitted. Late arrivals will forfeit their registration/ticket. There will be no refunds of tuition if this occurs; however, the late arriving participant may receive credit for tuition paid towards another qualifying BodySmart Wellness class, workshop or seminar of the same fee or less… So please arrive 15 – 20 minutes early.
Depending on the workshop, class or seminar, usually there is reserved seating for only 15 – 20 participants. All participants must be pre-registered and pre-paid. Your email confirmation or receipt from our registration site is your ticket to the event so you must bring it with you. Absolutely no tickets/registrations will be sold at the door (no walk-ins). All registrations / Ticket purchases can made online through www.Masters-Center.com and/or www.MeowLearning.com In the event a workshop, seminar, or class is cancelled those registered will be notified in advance. Should that happen the participant can either request a refund for the event or receive a credit toward another event of the same cost or no more than $10.00 more than the event they originally registered for. Registering at least 3 or more days in advance is greatly appreciated. Ticket sales for events ends 24 hours prior to the event.
All sales (including but not limited to: programs, appointments, services, sessions, workshop, classes, merchandise) are final. We will gladly replace any defective product with one identical or as close to identical as possible if it is brought to our attention within 72 hours. Unused portions of items such as supplements must be returned in the original container to receive a replacement or office credit at BodySmart Wellness’s discretion. Since success is a joint effort between the provider and the participant, or customer, we offer no guarantees stated or implied.
Liability waiver and Indemnification :
I have read and understand the information contained in this document. I agree to hold harmless and for myself and my heirs or assignees and to indemnify and not to sue BodySmart Wellness LLC and/or Dr. Philip Holder, Dr. Marie Kimelheim and/or any officers, associates, helpers, including but not limited to, assistants, landlords or hosts for any reason as a result of my participation in any workshop, seminar program/session(s) etc. etc. whether online on physical site or any other. Any medical problems have been disclosed in writing to the BodySmart Wellness Administrators in advance of participation. This includes, but is not limited to, Heart Disease, H.I.V./AIDS, Hepatitis , Tuberculosis etc.
Guests, rides/transportation, children of the attendee etc., are not permitted to enter the facility or wait at the event (or in the halls outside the event). Only registered, paid attendees will be admitted. Children under the age of 16 are not permitted to attend most workshops, so if you are anticipating registering/bringing anyone younger it is important that you ask if children under the age of 16 are permitted to attend that event before purchasing their ticket.
As a courtesy to other patients clients, and students, and to maintain the serene atmosphere that we of striving for, absolutely no cell phone use is permitted in the office. Cell phones must be turned OFF (not on vibrate or silent) before entering the office/facility. If you must make a call, please step into the hallway during a structured break. Please do not go in and out during the presentation. It is distracting to others.
IMPORTANT: It is prohibited for Clients/Patients/Customers/Attendees etc. to bring cameras or recording devices into the office or to any BodySmart Wellness event at any location. BodySmart Wellness LLC, Dr. Holder and/or Dr Kimelheim reserve the right to discontinue services to anyone found doing so with no refund of fees paid or balance due. Also, phones must be completely turned off during session (not on low or vibrate etc.). Interruptions caused by Clients/Patients/Customers/Attendees etc. phone, may result in the immediate ejection from the event without refund or the option for credit for another event.
Please email us at messages@Masters-Center.com with any topics that you would like to see covered in our newsletter. We want to supply you with the information that you need. Also visit our web site BodySmartWellness.com for other great information.
Online Classes, Webinars, Tele-conferences are subject to any and all of the requirements shown above that can in any way apply including but not limited to: Registration, Refund Policy, Recording of events, Age requirements etc. In registering participants are agreeing to these terms.
BodySmart Wellness Center Administrators
Marie A Kimelheim MD.
Marie A. Kimelheim, M.D. is Medical Director of Center for Cognitive Enhancement of Bucks County. She is a licensed psychiatrist who is also trained in Anti-aging and Regenerative Medicine, Holistic Psychiatry and Functional Medicine. She received her medical degree from Temple University School of Medicine and her psychiatry training at Temple University Hospital. She is currently a fellow in the American Academy of Anti-Aging Medicine program.
Dr. Kimelheim has over 20 years in medical practice specializing in Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy, Anti Aging Medicine, Mood Disorders, Integrative Psychiatry and Weight Loss. Dr. Kimelheim possesses a great understanding of patient’s weight loss and related health needs and combines her many skills to provide patients with exceptional service. Through patient specific specialized testing and treatment protocols she strives to determine the root cause of the patient’s symptoms and disease state rather than merely treating the symptoms..
Her interests include brain fitness for peak performance and optimal well-being, nutritional and alternative approaches for psychiatric disorders, bio-identical hormone replacement and spiritual attunement. Dr. Kimelheim merges mainstream and alternative medicine using functional medicine concepts, nutrition, and other natural approaches.
Grandmaster Philip Holder
Philip Holder: Personal
Philip lives with wife Marie, Dogs Dexter and Oscar and cats Nico and Luna. Philip and Marie have 5 children (1 girl 4 boys). Marie is a physician specializing in Psychiatry and in Anti Aging Medicine. As well, they recently began a real estate business called Family Comes First Homes. ( http://familycomesfirsthomes.com/ ). Philip and Marie are in practice together at their BodySmart Wellness LLC facility in Yardley PA. In their spare time they enjoy spending time with family, going to the movies dining out, shopping for odd and different things, dancing and traveling (when time permits).
Philip Holder: Therapy
Dr. Holder is a therapist specializing in Therapeutic Hypnosis and Counseling and Life Coaching. A sought after motivational speaker and teacher he instructs hypnotherapy & advanced hypnotherapy courses at Bucks County Community College as well as teaching at nationwide events.
He has been certified by The International Association of Counselors and Therapists, the International Medical and Dental Hypnotherapy Association, the National Guild of Hypnotists, National Association of Transpersonal Hypnotherapists and other prominent organizations.
● Philip Holder was nominated for the Hypnosis Hall of Fame in 2000, 2001 and for 2003.
● He received the Hypnosis Hall of Fame’s prestigious Barton John Dutton award in 2001.
● He also received the award for “Outstanding Clinical Contributions” from NATH in 2002.
● In 2003 Dr. Holder was honored with the “Therapist Of The Year” award by the International Association
of Counselors and Therapists.
● Awarded the International Medical Dental Hypnotherapy Association “Presidents Award” 2009
● Awarded International Medical Dental Hypnotherapy Association “Life Fellow In Hypnotherapy” 2013.
Dr. Holder is an instructor of hypnosis, hypnotherapy, and meditation and offers regular certification courses. In his capacity as a professor he teaches hypnotherapy, advanced level hypnotherapy and instructor level hypnotherapy at Bucks County College and at other locations.
Dr. Holder is a lecturer and published author. He has appeared in many prominent magazines, on television, on talk radio, and is featured in a number of instructional videos and on audios. His book “Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy – The Power of the Subconscious Mind” has consistently retained a Five Star rating on Amazon.com and is used by both therapists and trainers as a source of information on hypnotherapy.
Over the years, thousands have benefited from Dr. Holder’s services. He regularly travels teaching seminars and workshops. As well, people travel from around the world to utilize his services and to study from him. He conducts workshops for corporations, public school systems and for private educational facilities.
Philip Holder Martial Arts Bio
Philip Holder is an internationally renowned meditation and Kung Fu Grandmaster. He is published author (with books, numerous magazine and newspaper articles to his credit), He has been featured in Wushu Kung Fu Magazine, Black Belt Magazine, Martial Arts Training, Karate/Kung Fu Illustrated, Qigong Magazine, Inside Kung Fu, Karate Star, Karate International, Wing Chun Today, Martial Arts Masters, American Karate, and other prominent magazines. He has also appeared in the “Who’s Who in Martial Arts” on television and on radio. He has been featured in over 200 instructional videos.
Philip is one of the top martial arts instructors and defensive tactics trainers in the world. He has a reputation for quality in the martial arts that began over 50 years ago. He holds the position of Grandmaster of Ying Gi Ga Wing Chun Kung Fu and is both Grandmaster and chief instructor to the North American Wing Chun Association. He is the creator of the self defense and special defensive tactics program known as “The Six Zone Safeguard System”. He has provided instruction to group classes, private students, military personnel, law enforcement personnel, to executive protection personnel (Bodyguards) and other security agents. He himself has, in the past, worked as an executive protection operative. He also has experience as a personal trainer. His teaching encompasses the physical, philosophical and psychological aspects of personal development. His personal “hands on experience” gives a true sense of realism to his classes and seminars. Over the years, thousands have benefited from Dr. Holder’s teaching. He regularly travels teaching seminars and workshops. As well, people travel from around the world to study from him. He conducts workshops within various, corporations, school systems and for private educational facilities.
Philip has certification in Acupressure, Shiatsu and Oriental Diagnosis, as well as other holistic modalities and experience as a personal fitness trainer/consultant. His background gives him a unique ability to address the union of body and mind like few others.
Phil has played music since age 11 or 12. He plays, guitar, piano, organ, and drums and is an accomplished vocalist. He had his first band when 12 in which he sang and played guitar. He consistently played for many, many years thereafter, first as an amateur and after college as a professional full time musician. Deciding it was time to go to college he again went to playing music part time. Although he plays 5 instruments, for most of his music career he has been a lead vocalist and front man. He has a broad vocal range and can sing almost anything. Entertainment value is just as important to him as the music. Although a unique and original performer in his own right people sometime say he’s Mic Jagger-ish or Steven Tyler-ish. He enjoys music like Eagles, Aerosmith, Allman Brothers, Bon Jovi, Matchbox 20, and others old and new. Phil focuses on making quality music and providing great entertainment.